How to Come Up with Good Conversation Topics

Even if you're good with people, there are likely times when you're stuck for something more to say and start wondering what topic to bring up next. To come up with good conversation topics, you should prepare a mental list of ideas beforehand so that you can seamlessly pull up one idea and continue on with your chat. Form conversation around the other person, tailoring the topic based on how well you know him or her, and give the other person equal opportunity to steer the conversation in other directions.

Learning About Basic Conversation Starters:

1

Talk about the other person. The biggest secret to being a good conversationalist is simply allowing other people to talk about themselves.Why? It's a subject they are familiar with and that they probably feel comfortable discussing. Try these tactics:

• Ask for his opinion. You could tie it to what's currently happening in the room, current events, or whatever else you may want to discuss.
• Delve into "life story" topics. Ask where your conversation partner is from, how he grew up, and so on.

2

Have a few different starters for people you know to different degrees. The kinds of questions you will ask someone depend on how well, or whether, you know him. Here are some openers for two other types of people you'll converse with:

• People you know well: ask him how he is, whether anything interesting has happened this past week, how his project or study is coming along, how his children are and whether he's seen any good TV shows or movies lately.
  
• People you know but haven't seen for a while: ask him what has happened in his life since you last saw him, find out if he's still working in the same job and living in the same area, ask about his children and whether he's had more (if relevant); perhaps ask if he's seen a mutual friend lately.

3

Remember what to avoid. You know the old rule: never talk about religion, politics, money, relationships, family problems, health problems, or sex with people you don't know incredibly well. The risk of saying something offensive is too high, so just stay clear; these are often emotional charged issues as well.

4

Find out about interests and hobbies. People are complex, with different interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. There are several different kinds of questions you can ask about interests and hobbies, many of which will themselves will near-automatically lead to further follow-up conversation. Questions you could ask include:

• Do you play or follow any sports?
• Do you like to hang out online?
• What do you like to read?
• What do you do in your spare time?
• What kind of music do you like?
• What kinds of movies do you like to watch?
• What are your favorite TV shows?
• What's your favorite board game or card game?
• Do you like animals? What's your favorite animal?

5

Bring up family. Your safest bet here is siblings and general background information (such as where he grew up). Be sure to respond enthusiastically to encourage him to share more information. Parents can be a touchy subject for people who had troubled upbringings, have estranged parents or whose parents have recently passed away. The topic of children can be uncomfortable for couples who are having fertility issues or disagreements about whether to have children, or for a person who wants to have kids but hasn't found the right person or situation. Some questions you might ask include:

• Do you have any siblings? How many?
• (If he has no siblings) What was it like being an only child?
• (If he has siblings) What are their names?
• How old are they?
• What do your siblings do? (Modify the question based on how old they are. Do they go to school/college or have a job?)
• Do you look alike?
• Do you all have similar personalities?
• Where did you grow up?

• 6 Ask about past travel adventures. Ask your conversation partner where he's been. Even if he has never left his hometown, he will likely be happy to talk about where he would want to go. Specifically, you could ask:
  

  
  • If you had a chance to move to any other country, which one would it be and why?
  • Of all the cities in the world you've visited, which one was your favorite?
  • Where did you go on your last vacation? How did you like it?
  • What was the best/worst vacation or trip you've ever been on?

  7

  
  

  Inquire about food and drink. Food is a little better to talk about because there's always the chance of bumping into someone who has had issues with alcohol abuse or doesn't drink. Be careful that the conversation doesn't stray into someone going on about their diet or how they're trying to lose weight. That can take the conversation in a negative direction. You might instead ask:
  

  

  • If you could only have one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  • Where do you like to go when you eat out?
  • Do you like to cook?
  • What's your favorite kind of candy?
  • What's the worst restaurant experience you've ever had?